This post contains: Single over 30 video
I was single over 30 in Melbourne for too long. Now, Melbourne has loads of awesome men and sure, there were a steady string of dates, and I even did the online dating thing. I loved being single for a long time and no-one could tie me down to marriage. But as all my friends got coupled up with kids, it began to be difficult to do anything with friends that wasn't designed mainly for kids. Parents with kids tend to like to spend more time with parents with kids as there are more restrictions on them and it makes life easier - and that makes sense. But as a single in a sea of couples, you start to feel more isolated. Sure, I had more excitement in my life than my fair share and it was awesome for so long. But how many first, second, third dates and exciting nights out on the town can you have before you begin to want something different? A lot it turns out. However, after a while I slowly began to want a change and long term serious relationship and marriage. It turns out that is much more difficult to find the right partner later in life because most are already coupled up. I noticed the disparities between the singles and the coupled up with kids and our issues were so different. There seemed quite a wide gap. We were all the same age, yet had grown so far apart in lifestyles and so many other ways.
I started to make a documentary film about being single over thirty. Here is an extract from my Single over 30 documentary, which is essentially a series of candid interviews about the frustrations and challenges of being single over 30 in a world made for two.
Note: Since this series of interviews was filmed (a long time ago now), note the following single status changes:
- Mark: now married
- Cathryn: now married
- Belinda: in a long term relationship
- Attila: believed to be single and doing a lot of travel (not confirmed though)
As for me, well, at the time I was indeed single, and thought I would never get married. I was planning on spending the rest of my life being single and doing a lot of travel, but life had other plans. Now I am married and doing some travel (but wanting and planning to do a lot more).
Which is best? Single or married? I initially thought single was, then I thought married was, now I think that it depends on what is most important to you in life at the time. My thoughts are that the real key to happiness is just making the most of whatever your status is. There are benefits to being single that you can't really have being married and vice versa. There were times I felt so lonely being single and longed for marriage, and there were many other times I had so much freedom, hope, grand plans and excitement in my life, I couldn't stomach the thought of being married.
Feeling free is one of the most amazing things about being single- anything you dream you can do. Being married, I can't just take off as though I had wings anymore, everything is a compromise, but I love so many things about being married that the compromises are worth it.
Looking back on my single years, I would have done one major thing differently: changed my career to freelance writing business, and lived all around the world, making the latest destination and laptop my office. Although I now have my freelance writing business, the living around the world world part is no longer an option for other reasons. But anyone who wants to do have a portable business and travel the world should check out Sean Ogle's Location 180 website.
What are your thoughts on being single over 30....